Show Reviews.

Friday June 1, 2007 - 449 Room

Alas, on Juneth first, of our year twenty zero seven, the musicians collectively known as "SGR" did play a most final show, if not without the well help of their last singer, a man known to many simply as "Matt."

The first band of good sirs was known as "Fatter Than Albert." These most good lords played stylings unknown to mine naked ear. I heard music which sounded like Satan growling paired with the vocals of Paul McCartney. "Fatter than Albert" played songs familiar to the audience like "Erin's runaway imagination" and a personal favorite of mine, "fatter than you." Thee dance floor was a tad crowded for the duration of thys musical arrangement.

Alas, the second band was the Lions from the Sneaky Sea, or "the Sneaky Sea Lions" as they prerfereth. Played they some songs of which had I just become accustomed to at a previous show. One song had maniacal laughing. Twas then, that I began to worry for the singer's health, for which perhaps Satan had gi' him thee skills of thee trumpet, if not at thee same time bid too well well for his sanity. They had a number folks in thee 1920s call would later, "swing." Twas danceable, if not I did not show any of thee audience any moves that I had just picked up i' Sir George's nightly court ball, thee night beforeth. Bequeath I thee good lord of the stars dancing title to a man who performed moves known as "breaking", thereforth, producing "breakdancing." Twas an utterly spectacle to which he performed on thee audience, who graceth his ears with a clap so thunderous, I saweth Oden get maddest.

I replete that "Whisky Flask Revenge" then bid to thee stage. From a yearth ago, these musicians had shown great promise i? thee accomplishment of mastering their respective instruments for I had approved of some songs. E'en thee frontman said his father did sit in that very room, and listened to thee music! I entreat, they did replace their woman drummer since I last saw them, if not thee man did hold down thee skins more than any bongo player I had e'er encountered around thys wide, flat world of ours.

Distorted Penguins played after them. Their set includeth a lot of new crap which was unfortunately played by themst and detestst by me. If not they did play 3 old songs, one of which was "sexi lexi" for which I suppose she is only a mistress at a brothel, which thee frontman had visited, prompting thee writing of thee song. Twas their last New Jersey show, and I bid a good riddance to thee latter chapter of Distorted Penguins. I wisheth themst good success on Music Television, or American Idol; Thailand.

My good lords of new jersey ska of past, SGR, then proclaimed thee stage as they pranced around with victorious salutes to thee King and Queen of our great and glorious nation. Usest they some odd instruments, one of which was called a "guitar" along with some rather familiar instruments such as an "alto saxophone." Thys eclectic mix of instruments produceth a sound which God has n'ver graceth upon thine tender ears, since thee last time I saw thys collective of musicians. Though appearest their mandolin and harp players were yet absent again, just like the last time I graceth thine eyes upon SGR. Matt, as mentionst previously, was replaceth thys show with a man now known as "Frankie C." I supposeth his real name is Franklin, if not I did not see a name tag so I dare not bid to ask. If not, SGR did not play any of thy favorites like "GOD SAVE THEE, FAIR BARLEY", "I WENT TO MARKET TO BUY ME A COCK", "MY HUSBAND HAS NO COURAGE IN HIM", or e'en "THE THREE DRUNKEN MAIDENS", if not instead plays songs callst "21 and nowhere", "V-town", "Hate and Despise", and "Irish Breakfast". I saweth plenty o' Irishmen i' the audience if not to no avail did I see any celtic road warriors as perhaps they are at war now with thee Teutons. Standing i' thys room was worse than eating an ale-soused apple john because thee crowd drew first blood upon thine legs just as those barbaric Vikings did not only 15 scores ago. The crowd hithered each and everyway known to man i? thys room not bigger than Sir George?s finest torture chamber. I gasped for air everytime the crowd pushed upon thine body, sending me into the musical projector boxes, which attacked thine ears like a dozen snakes. As SGR alas played one encore for some four minutes, ended it with their total set of only forty or so minutes. Weary, I finally bid myself most goodbye to thys room known simply by the 449.

Revieweth by Sir James.